Shin Seung Hun - I Believe
Thought it had been a while since i last wrote something~ but today i have something i just wanted to write down. Truthfully recently ive felt kind of down and tbh quite lonely.
These past few weeks have become more difficult for me than what im use to. Im not really something to really express my feelings or emotions. But someone has said to me to learn how to let them out in order to feel a little better or to let someone know. I don’t know why exactly but ive felt lonely a lot recently.. with family, friends and other personal reasons. I think it also could be partially my fault as well because i don’t open up to people.
There can be days when i come out and i seem all smiley and happy but most of the time it’s just a face i force upon myself to avoid what people will say.
Ive been home alone quite a bit now, usually my parents are both at work, or they go out and leave me home alone with just a note to say where they are, leave me money and tell me to buy dinner out or make it myself, and if i try ringing them in fact i know they see me calling but refuse to answer. Just many days where i will come home to find no one in.. because they’ve all gone away for the week or busy doing other things were they feel the need to exclude me? It just doesnt help when im already feeling low. But its to the point where whatever happens ive started to care less and less. I may have many friends who will speak to me on facebook or whatever.. But in fact how many of the friends you have can you say are your actually your true friends who you can always depend on, I can only name 2.. But even now ive kept quiet and haven’t spoken a word.. The only reason why im writing all of this now is because i want these feelings to change.. I dont have the stregth nor the energy to continue feeling like this. People say i havent been myself recently? Just right now, im a very lonely person and it makes me feel like shit, i sit at home nearly everyday doing nothing, bored so i decide to go out to try and get my mind of things and it will work for a few hours.. just until im by myself again.
Brown Eyes - 가지마 가지마 <3<3